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You're listening to the nonprofit power podcast.
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In today's episode, I'm sharing 10 powerful things I've learned from my best coaches.
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So stay tuned.
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If you want to have real and powerful influence over the money and policy decisions that impact your organization and the people you serve, then you're in the right place.
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I'm Kath Patrick and I've helped dozens of progressive nonprofit leaders take their organizations to new and higher levels of impact and success by building powerful influence with the decision makers that matter.
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It is possible to get a critical mass of the money and policy decision makers in your world to be as invested in your success as you are.
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To have them seeking you out as an equal partner.
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And to have them Bringing opportunities and resources to you.
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This podcast will help you do just that.
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Welcome to the Nonprofit Power Podcast.
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Hey there, folks.
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Welcome to another episode of the nonprofit power podcast.
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I'm your host, cath.
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Patrick.
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I'm so glad you're here for today's episode.
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None of us has gotten where we are alone.
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And none of us are going to get where we're going alone.
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We always have others who are helping and supporting us, whether we realize and acknowledge it or not.
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Whether it's a formal arrangement or not.
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We all just had the wonderful experience of watching the Paris summer Olympics.
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If you've ever wanted clear convincing evidence of the power of coaching, all you have to do is look at and listen to these extraordinary athletes.
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Who will be the very first to tell you that they could not be where they are, they could not have achieved what they have achieved without the guidance and the support of their coaches.
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Of course they have to put in the work.
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Our coaches can't do our pushups for us.
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But they can show us the most powerful, most effective ways to get to that next level, whatever that is for us.
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I've gotten increasingly clear about the power of coaching as I have deepened my commitment to seek out the coaches who are the best fit for me.
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To take me to my next level.
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Any high level athlete will tell you that the mental game is at least as important as the physical.
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And so much of what is powerful in the kind of coaching that most of us deal with in a personal or professional context..
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Much of what we're working on is our internal game, is the mental game.
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And it is so essential to the success of just about any endeavor.
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And I talk about this a lot on the podcast, in terms of the energy you bring, the mindset you bring, the identity you embody.
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What kind of a leader you decide to be, what kind of advocate.
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How you step into your power or not.
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All of those are part of the internal game.
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And so our ability to do that effectively and consistently is critical to our success.
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But the reality is there's a lot of stuff that's in the way, most of the time.
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And unfortunately, a lot of what's in the way is not immediately obvious.
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We have to dig for it.
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We have to go looking.
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We have to unpack a few things and unravel some things and be scientists about our own mind to understand what's going on and how we can improve our effectiveness.
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For many years I had informal coaches and mentors and they were incredibly helpful to me.
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And I learned a ton from them.
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But I have to say that once I joined a formal coaching program, my growth and learning has accelerated dramatically.
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I'm getting breakthroughs working with these coaches that would have taken me much longer to get on my own or through an informal arrangement..
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And that's why I choose to invest in a coaching program for myself.
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My experience that that is the most efficient path to experiencing significant growth and even greater levels of success in the work that I do.
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It's pretty much a no brainer.
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I just came back from a coach's retreat that's part of this program, where we learned a lot of powerful coaching tools.
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But the most exciting thing and really kinda meta and interesting in that way.
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That we were learning the coaching techniques by experiencing them.
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So we were being coached on one level.
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And going through a series of exercises and experiences that were designed to help us elevate our personal and professional growth.
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And at the same time, we were learning how to use those techniques to help the people that we serve.
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The bonus of this experience is that it comes with a built in community of peers, who are leaders and coaches in all different kinds of niches all over the U S and in other countries as well.
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And having both the support and the insights that come from all of those other leaders, who have a little bit different take on things.
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You know how this is.
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You think you are stuck, or you think there's only one solution to a problem.
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And then you talk with a colleague or a friend who knows something about whatever you're dealing with.
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And all of a sudden, other ideas come out.
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Other possibilities emerge.
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Other ways of looking at the problem come through.
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And so one of the most valuable things I get from this program is not only the really exceptional coaches that are there to support me directly, but also all of the peers who are in this program with me.
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Who have turned out to be not only some great growing partners, but also have become good friends.
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And so there's just value on so many different levels.
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It's really pretty exciting.
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It's what keeps me coming back to this program and renewing my investment.
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I'm in my second year of this program now.
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The first year was great..
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The second year is blowing my mind.
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In terms of the greater value that I'm getting, the further I grow in my business and in my personal capacity..
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It's opened up doors and created possibilities that would have been difficult to imagine a couple of years ago., So I wanted to share first what I get out of this, why for me, it is such a valuable investment.
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And one that I will continue to make.
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And I'm one of those people who initially was resistant to the idea.
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Coaching?
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That sounds expensive.
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That sounds like, I'm going to give somebody a lot of money and I don't know what I'm going to get out of the deal.
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And so one of the things I think it's very important and helpful to understand is what a good coach does and what they don't do.
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If you're looking for coaching so that you can become more effective in your work and to have a bigger impact, but also become more effective as a person.
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To expand your ability to engage and influence others.
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To feel good about the way you're being in the world.
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Whatever you're looking for out of the experience.
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Maybe you want to become a more effective public speaker.
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Maybe you want to become a more effective advocate.
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Maybe you want to become better at engaging funders, better leading your team.
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If you're not yet in a leadership role, perhaps you want to just begin to develop your leadership skills.
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So that one day, you can lead a nonprofit or become a significant leader in a nonprofit setting.
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So there could be all kinds of things we want to achieve.
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And the instinct, the left brain instinct is to say, so I need someone to teach me those skills.
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Show me how to do that.
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And that's important.
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We need the skills, just like the athlete needs to be able to do the skills that are associated with their sport.
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Because without that, they're not going to be much of an athlete.
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Right.
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But here's the thing.
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You could have two athletes who train equally hard on the physical techniques.
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If they put in the same work physically, they're both going to be really good.
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But one of them is going to be a star.
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And the one who becomes the star is the one who does the internal work and masters that as well.
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They master the mental skills associated with everything they need to do to succeed in their sport.
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And it's the same for us.
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Someone says, teach me public speaking.
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Awesome.
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I can teach you public speaking.
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But if you learn the technical skills and you still struggle standing in front of a huge audience, that's not a technical skill you need to master.
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That's a mental skill you need to master.
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So good coaching is about helping us master those mental skills.
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And helping us identify what's in the way.
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I like the public speaking example because almost everybody can relate to it.
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And, most people, when they first start out in public speaking, struggle with being in front of a large group.
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Some people take to it right away, but many, many people have a hard time with that.
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And have a hard time with all the attention focused on them.
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Have a hard time with the possibility of all these people judging them, worried they'll make a mistake, et cetera, et cetera.
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There's all kinds of ways we can get in our head in a public speaking setting, that will produce a result we're not happy with We might write the best speech ever.
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And we get up to give it and it falls flat.
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Could be about our energy, but likely it's also about some of those other things that are in the way,.All that stuff that's in your head.
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That's keeping you from being your rock star self in front of that big group of people.
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And so a good coach helps you do two things.
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They help you uncover what's in the way.
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They help you find all those hidden obstacles that you're dealing with, that you may not be aware of at all.
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They help you get past those.
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And then they give you techniques to stay in that new, more helpful head space as it were.
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That's what's so amazing about working with a coach is that you've got somebody who can help you with that.
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And that is work that is notoriously difficult to do on our own.
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Because if we knew what was in the way we'd have gotten rid of it by now, right?
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Or we can say things like, well, you know, public speaking just gives me the hives.
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It's terrible.
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I hate it.
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So I don't do it.
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More than 70% of the population would rather go through other, really terrible experiences rather than have to stand on a stage and give a speech.
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And it's not that they don't know how to talk.
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They know how to talk.
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If you ask them in a group of two or three friends to tell you about their vacation.
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They can do that without having stress and anxiety and worry and fear.
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They just tell you about their vacation, no big deal.
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And they can probably even build in some funny stories and create a little drama and, some crazy thing happened and they can build up the story and create suspense and then laughter and then relief.
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And they could do all of that just by being theirselves.
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And then you put in front of a group of a hundred people or a thousand people or 10,000 people.
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And they freeze.
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Their brain just goes like, Nope, can't do it.
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Can't do it.
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Can't do it.
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Get me out of here.
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Even if they're told to tell the same story.
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Right.
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Even if it's like, okay, now tell this group of 10,000 people the same story you just told us.
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It was awesome.
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Okay.
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Nothing changed.
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Then you add, oh wait, but this isn't just telling my vacation story.
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This is a hundred major donors, or a thousand potential major donors that I've got myself in the room with.
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Or I've gotten this opportunity to speak in front of an entire legislative caucus.
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And I get one shot.
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And I want to bring them along with my idea.
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And now all of a sudden the stakes are really high.
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I get one chance.
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If I blow it, not only will I not get the thing I want, but then there'll be all these other things.
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They'll judge me.
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They might, think bad things about me.
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They might laugh at me.
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Worse, they might fall asleep.
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They might just not even pay attention.
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They're on their phones the whole time.
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I can look out there.
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I can barely see'em out there beyond the stage lights, but I see them out there and they're like, not engaged.
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I can tell.
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I can feel their energy.
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They're making their grocery list in their head.
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They're texting their friends, they're doing whatever.
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But whatever they're doing, they're not paying attention to me.
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Or.
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Oh, my God, they are texting and they're texting back and forth and they're laughing.
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They're laughing at me.
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Oh, my God.
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Now I really have to go find a hole to crawl in, right.
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All that stuff.
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We can get all of that going on in our head, the minute you tell us we have to tell that vacation story to a hundred or a thousand or 10,000 people.
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When objectively.
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It shouldn't be any different..
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But.
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How we know it is different is when we can't do the thing.
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How we know it's different is when we feel ourselves resisting.
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And even resistance comes in really interesting forms.
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It comes in sneaky forms.
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Remember your good old reticular activating system, whose job is to keep you safe.
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It just wants to keep you safe.
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And it will enlist your rational brain in the project.
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I'll just give a personal example.
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When I was getting ready to launch a podcast.
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I had never done anything like that before in my life.
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Well, not totally.
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I had done plenty of radio and television interviews, so I, wasn't scared of a microphone.
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So I was already ahead of the game in that regard.
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And I knew what I wanted to talk about.
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I knew what I wanted to say.
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I knew who I wanted to reach and what I wanted to do with this work.
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So that part was good.
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But, oh my God, the amount of the learning curve to get all the tech right.
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And to figure out how to do all of that, and how to produce an episode.
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Yikes.
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I didn't know any of that.
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And I had to learn it all.
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And what was interesting was that my rational brain kept telling me that, well, you don't have time right now.
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You're going to need an uninterrupted stretch where you can really focus on this.
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Or I'd sit down to focus.
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All right, today's the day I'm going to learn one of five pieces of software that I needed to learn in order to be able to produce a podcast.
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And I'm going to sit down and I'm going to learn software A today, and I'm going to figure this out.
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I'm going to play with it until I understand it.
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And I'd get about half an hour, 45 minutes in.
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And find myself distracted or irritated that it was not doing what I wanted it to do.
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And I would find something else I needed to do that was more important.
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And that happened over and over and over again.
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Until I finally got to what was in the way.
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And you know, not surprisingly what was in the way was I was afraid.
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Well, what if, what if nobody likes it?
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What if they hate it?
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What if nobody listens?
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And I had to get past those internal blocks.
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On the surface.
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It was like, well, I just don't have enough time.
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I haven't had time to learn all this new technology, yada, yada yada.
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And that was true on one level.
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But what I noticed was that every time I sat down to try to really solve those problems, it was still not happening.
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And so it wasn't until I dug in and figured out, okay What's really in the way here?
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And some of that you can do through self-coaching.
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Once you've gone through this process enough times you can, you should, start to get good at realizing when there's an internal block that's happening.
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And you may just be able to identify it and work past it on your own.
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Or you may struggle to identify it.
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And that's when having a coach is really helpful.
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To be able to ask you some really good questions and help you work with it.
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And, if it's a really difficult one to help to, use some particularly effective techniques to help you resolve that and move past it.
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So part of the way I think about it is that, even if you could identify and eradicate all of the internal blocks that you are unaware of at this moment.
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That are in the way of you achieving a thing that you really care about, or pursuing a dream.
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That even if you could do that all on your own.
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My observation with coaching clients that I've worked with, and in my own experience of being coached, is that you get there a lot faster with the guidance and support of a coach.
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Who can just help accelerate it, put rocket fuel on that.
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And let you identify blocks and move past them.
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And get clarity about where the focus of your attention needs to be.
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And a good coach doesn't tell you, you should be focusing on this, this and this.
00:16:26.427 --> 00:16:30.537
A good coach helps you figure that out for yourself.
00:16:30.797 --> 00:16:39.976
Without the distractions that are being thrown up by your reticular activating system, who wants to argue for keeping things the same.
00:16:40.697 --> 00:16:43.547
reticular activating system does not want you to grow.
00:16:44.106 --> 00:16:46.567
It wants to keep you safe and secure.
00:16:47.104 --> 00:16:50.673
From the crocodile brain's perspective, anything new is a threat.
00:16:51.317 --> 00:16:58.787
So, if you want to up-level your game, particularly up level your internal game, in any arena that involves leadership.
00:16:59.206 --> 00:17:03.287
That involves being out in front in any kind of a way.
00:17:03.527 --> 00:17:06.527
That is particularly threatening to the crocodile brain.
00:17:06.616 --> 00:17:07.787
It's like, oh no, no, no.
00:17:07.817 --> 00:17:08.717
Don't stand out.
00:17:09.106 --> 00:17:13.007
Stay back here under the rock where it's safe, where the predators can't find us.
00:17:13.396 --> 00:17:17.780
And, you know, That was really useful back when we were all living in caves.
00:17:18.324 --> 00:17:19.913
It's not as useful now.
00:17:20.243 --> 00:17:36.784
And so we have to understand what different parts of our brain are up to and how particularly the crocodile brain, the RAS will enlist the cooperation of the rational brain to tell you, oh no, now's not a good time.
00:17:37.144 --> 00:17:41.493
Later, when these other five things happen, then it'll be a good time.
00:17:42.183 --> 00:17:43.564
And it'll do that forever.
00:17:44.304 --> 00:17:49.124
And if you pay attention, what you realize is that according to that, it'll never be a good time.
00:17:49.124 --> 00:17:54.374
There'll always be something that you need to do first, that you need to have first.
00:17:55.054 --> 00:17:58.443
The one I see a lot in my fellow coaches.
00:17:58.953 --> 00:18:00.574
Actually, this is very interesting.
00:18:01.153 --> 00:18:07.733
In fact, I just was talking with, another coach these last couple of days who was saying I'm really struggling.
00:18:08.003 --> 00:18:15.054
I feel like I have to go get a specialty master's degree to coach in this particular arena that she's in.
00:18:15.696 --> 00:18:18.366
And it was like, okay, what's behind that?
00:18:19.297 --> 00:18:24.233
So, when she left after those few days, she didn't have a clear answer.
00:18:24.773 --> 00:18:28.134
But what she was doing was asking herself better questions.
00:18:28.614 --> 00:18:42.681
To get to the answer of whether that really was necessary or whether that was more about a worry that people wouldn't see her as credible, a worry that people wouldn't see her as good enough to do this, et cetera, et cetera.
00:18:42.891 --> 00:18:45.020
And these are recurrent human themes.
00:18:45.020 --> 00:18:47.510
It doesn't matter what arena we're in.
00:18:48.131 --> 00:18:50.230
The, you know, I need more credentials.
00:18:50.230 --> 00:18:51.431
I need another degree.
00:18:51.431 --> 00:18:57.911
I need to have 10 more years of experience in this field before I could do X.
00:18:58.611 --> 00:19:03.590
That's not to say that that degree or those 10 more years of experience won't be valuable.
00:19:03.590 --> 00:19:05.211
They might be incredibly valuable.
00:19:05.777 --> 00:19:09.000
But are they a complete barrier to entry?
00:19:09.487 --> 00:19:10.267
Very rarely.
00:19:10.836 --> 00:19:19.207
Now, obviously for good reason, certain credentials and training are barriers to entry for things like, oh, say practicing medicine.
00:19:19.356 --> 00:19:21.067
We want that barrier to exist.
00:19:21.217 --> 00:19:25.340
We want people to have lots of training before they come and practice medicine upon us.
00:19:25.611 --> 00:19:25.971
Right.
00:19:26.871 --> 00:19:29.570
But here's where it gets really interesting.
00:19:29.570 --> 00:19:31.580
And all of you who are listening.
00:19:32.151 --> 00:19:36.560
If you're attracted to this podcast, you are leaders or you are aspiring leaders.
00:19:37.067 --> 00:19:44.406
While there's no shortage of leadership degree programs, simply getting that degree doesn't make you a leader.
00:19:44.790 --> 00:19:48.116
Nor is a degree required to be a great leader.
00:19:48.790 --> 00:19:54.351
If you think about most of the great leaders that you admire, almost none of them have a degree in leadership.
00:19:54.997 --> 00:19:57.181
Now, I'm not against those degrees.
00:19:57.676 --> 00:20:01.983
I'm just saying they are not a determinant of success as a leader.
00:20:02.750 --> 00:20:06.106
If you want to be a leader, there are lots of technical skills that you will need.
00:20:06.106 --> 00:20:12.616
And there are a ton of mental skills that you will need to be an effective and powerful leader.
00:20:13.366 --> 00:20:23.606
But I've seen lots of established leaders and aspiring leaders tell themselves that well, because this thing or that thing.
00:20:24.050 --> 00:20:25.131
I'm not as credible.
00:20:25.230 --> 00:20:28.891
People don't value my leadership as much because this thing or that thing.
00:20:29.340 --> 00:20:31.290
And it's always some made up thing, right?
00:20:31.290 --> 00:20:32.131
I mean, it's real.
00:20:32.550 --> 00:20:33.270
Don't get me wrong.
00:20:33.270 --> 00:20:33.990
It's real.
00:20:34.020 --> 00:20:37.411
But it's like, it's got nothing to do with efficacy of leadership.
00:20:38.101 --> 00:20:40.080
That's your crocodile brain trying to keep you safe.
00:20:40.830 --> 00:20:45.971
Oh, here's a reason why you shouldn't step out fully into that total power.
00:20:47.260 --> 00:20:55.467
So I've been a little all over the place with this, partly because all of this experience is so fresh in my mind from having spent several days with these amazing people.
00:20:56.124 --> 00:21:04.258
But I wanted to really share how powerfully impactful it has been for me to not only be on the receiving end of coaching.
00:21:04.670 --> 00:21:07.630
Which like I say, I've had coaches and mentors my entire life.
00:21:08.170 --> 00:21:11.799
And they've all taught me really important and valuable things.
00:21:12.490 --> 00:21:20.923
But it wasn't until I invested in a consistent, regular coaching program that I started to see the accelerated results.
00:21:21.374 --> 00:21:25.743
And the deeper results that you can get when you double down on that commitment.
00:21:25.743 --> 00:21:30.463
When you say, I'm not going to just get better when I have a minute, I'm going to get serious about this.
00:21:30.733 --> 00:21:32.983
Because I really want this thing that's on the other side.
00:21:33.673 --> 00:21:37.183
Whether it's to be a more impactful leader or whatever your goal is.
00:21:37.824 --> 00:21:39.503
Not to say you can't get there on your own.
00:21:39.953 --> 00:21:43.000
It's just harder and slower than it is with a good coach.
00:21:43.180 --> 00:21:45.069
And I'll qualify that with a good coach.
00:21:45.279 --> 00:21:46.059
Who's good at what they do.
00:21:46.910 --> 00:21:52.869
Some wonderful takeaways that I had from this particular gathering were some things that were new to me.
00:21:53.326 --> 00:21:57.317
And that I wanted to share a little bit with you because I found them so valuable.
00:21:58.116 --> 00:22:11.616
The thing that I think I might have embroidered on a sampler, or possibly tattooed on my forehead, is the following: stopping your internal dialogue is the single most powerful act you can accomplish.
00:22:12.666 --> 00:22:14.467
That is it in a nutshell.
00:22:14.676 --> 00:22:18.375
It's the internal dialogue that will stop you from getting what you want.
00:22:19.416 --> 00:22:24.186
Stop you from going to that next level, whatever that next level is for you.
00:22:25.557 --> 00:22:35.741
Two other things that were both practiced in this group, and called out as specific values of the group, I found especially important.
00:22:36.011 --> 00:22:40.672
And one is a Sanskrit word, mudita, which is sympathetic joy.
00:22:41.481 --> 00:22:43.695
And this is a practice.
00:22:44.382 --> 00:22:52.576
What it means is like, When somebody else achieves something amazing that you really want to achieve too, but you're not there yet.
00:22:53.415 --> 00:22:56.506
You respond with sympathetic joy to say, that is so amazing.
00:22:56.506 --> 00:22:57.556
I'm so happy for you.
00:22:57.556 --> 00:22:59.655
That is so awesome.
00:23:00.375 --> 00:23:02.115
I hope to get there one day too.
00:23:02.115 --> 00:23:03.286
And you inspire me.
00:23:03.892 --> 00:23:06.291
The opposite of that would be oh, nice for you.
00:23:07.092 --> 00:23:09.582
Or to say out loud, congratulations, that's great.
00:23:09.761 --> 00:23:13.211
And then on the inside think, oh, that's great for you.
00:23:13.392 --> 00:23:19.092
You know, I'll never get there or, well, you have all these advantages and that's why you got there, and I'm not there.
00:23:19.806 --> 00:23:22.236
You can go all these other places in your head.
00:23:22.769 --> 00:23:27.531
But when you are cultivating mudita as a practice and as a way of being.
00:23:27.999 --> 00:23:31.269
First of all, it changes the energy you bring to everything.
00:23:31.816 --> 00:23:33.256
It changes your relationships.
00:23:33.826 --> 00:23:35.205
It changes your leadership.
00:23:35.296 --> 00:23:36.195
It changes everything.
00:23:36.675 --> 00:23:38.536
And it just feels a whole lot better.
00:23:39.405 --> 00:23:42.645
So, what I loved was that this was called out as a specific value.
00:23:42.645 --> 00:23:50.096
But also that it is one of the reasons I have stayed in this particular coaching program, and didn't go pick a different one after the first year was over.
00:23:50.455 --> 00:23:58.556
Was that this group lives and breathes mudita and you can feel it the minute you walk in the room.
00:23:59.165 --> 00:24:05.395
And it's amazing because people are at really different levels of progress in the things they're trying to achieve.
00:24:05.395 --> 00:24:12.195
And some of them have these massive coaching programs that they're serving thousands of people.
00:24:12.246 --> 00:24:14.105
They're doing amazing things.
00:24:14.105 --> 00:24:15.455
Their impact is huge.
00:24:15.726 --> 00:24:20.996
And then others are just getting started and thinking about, well, maybe I could do a podcast.
00:24:20.996 --> 00:24:23.942
Maybe I could go beyond one-on-one coaching.
00:24:23.942 --> 00:24:27.241
Maybe I could start a group coaching program and help more people.
00:24:27.781 --> 00:24:29.281
And everything in between.
00:24:30.011 --> 00:24:30.942
And what's awesome.
00:24:30.942 --> 00:24:43.169
Is that when a person who's just getting started shares a relatively small win, the folks who are far ahead of them in scale and level of impact are genuinely excited to celebrate those wins.
00:24:43.618 --> 00:24:49.388
And moments later, they might share how they feel they're not having a big enough impact.
00:24:49.824 --> 00:24:52.733
So there's humility embedded in mudita as well.
00:24:53.124 --> 00:24:55.614
As a practice, as a way of being.
00:24:55.953 --> 00:25:03.097
And as sort of a rule of the room for any community you're in, is a wonderful thing and elevates everyone.
00:25:04.157 --> 00:25:07.434
The other amazing technique that I learned is.
00:25:07.974 --> 00:25:09.714
Um, I hope I get this right.
00:25:10.075 --> 00:25:11.125
I'm still learning this.
00:25:11.575 --> 00:25:14.575
It's a Hawaiian term Ho oponopono.
00:25:15.404 --> 00:25:20.855
And it means to correct an error, or to make things right.
00:25:21.515 --> 00:25:24.768
And it's also kind of a cleaning prayer.
00:25:25.107 --> 00:25:32.471
It's designed to clean one's own emotional state, and to clean the emotional state in the room around you.
00:25:33.018 --> 00:25:34.127
And it is very simple.
00:25:34.688 --> 00:25:35.347
I love you.
00:25:35.907 --> 00:25:36.657
I'm sorry.
00:25:37.164 --> 00:25:38.214
Please forgive me.
00:25:38.791 --> 00:25:39.362
Thank you.
00:25:40.067 --> 00:25:40.877
It's that simple.
00:25:41.627 --> 00:25:46.978
And repeated over and over, in one's mind or aloud, if you wish, is incredibly powerful.
00:25:47.367 --> 00:26:00.468
And we practiced this in silence in small groups, while one member of the group put forward a question that they were struggling with in their work or in their life, that they needed an answer to.
00:26:01.238 --> 00:26:11.397
And so the one person would put out their question, and the other four would simply in their mind repeat this simple Ho oponopono Over and over for two minutes.
00:26:12.085 --> 00:26:13.345
And then we would move to the next person.
00:26:13.375 --> 00:26:17.335
We each do that in a circle until everybody had been on the receiving end of this.
00:26:18.061 --> 00:26:27.152
The clarity and insights that people received in just two minutes of first of all, being in silence, which has incredible power on its own.
00:26:27.775 --> 00:26:29.281
And is hard to come by these days.
00:26:29.914 --> 00:26:36.258
Being in silence, while people silently recited Ho oponopono in their minds.
00:26:36.917 --> 00:26:37.968
For two minutes.
00:26:38.587 --> 00:26:42.204
The clarity and downloads that people got from this.
00:26:42.565 --> 00:26:47.694
And interestingly, many people got downloads for others.
00:26:48.305 --> 00:26:51.335
I was sitting there minding my own business, not expecting any of that.
00:26:51.424 --> 00:26:54.815
And one guy in our group, he had said what his question was.
00:26:55.174 --> 00:27:01.127
And as we were going through those two minutes I just got one word,, really clear in my mind.
00:27:01.788 --> 00:27:03.288
And so he specifically asked.
00:27:03.541 --> 00:27:09.875
After he shared what he had gotten, he said, did any of you get anything, any hits, for me about my question.
00:27:10.375 --> 00:27:12.365
And I was like, Yeah, actually, I did.
00:27:12.744 --> 00:27:13.704
and I shared it with him.
00:27:13.785 --> 00:27:15.734
It was one word and it made a ton of sense to him.
00:27:15.734 --> 00:27:16.664
And he was like, thank you.
00:27:16.664 --> 00:27:17.384
I needed that.
00:27:18.045 --> 00:27:23.994
So there's hidden power in silence and there is hidden power in connection.
00:27:24.535 --> 00:27:26.325
And clearing cleaning the air.
00:27:27.125 --> 00:27:31.744
So these were two practices that I got that are not actually coaching techniques.
00:27:31.924 --> 00:27:39.674
They're just really amazing ways of approaching the world, of being in the world that can make a profound and powerful difference.
00:27:40.234 --> 00:27:42.922
I was already a regular practitioner of mudita.
00:27:43.642 --> 00:27:46.137
But I appreciated so much, having it called out.
00:27:46.137 --> 00:27:49.407
And having the realization, that is why I love this community so much.
00:27:49.407 --> 00:27:54.535
Because we all honor that and practice it regularly with one another, and as coaches.
00:27:55.494 --> 00:27:59.755
But the Ho oponopono prayer was new to me and I am loving it.
00:27:59.815 --> 00:28:01.555
I think it has so much value.
00:28:01.615 --> 00:28:06.768
And to me, it's kind of like a Swiss army knife of wonderousness, because it's good for internal work.
00:28:06.798 --> 00:28:08.538
It's good for helping others.
00:28:08.917 --> 00:28:17.498
So many people shared that they tried this out on strangers on their way home from this retreat, and had amazing results.
00:28:18.019 --> 00:28:21.859
They practiced it on people who were clearly having a bad day for one reason or another.
00:28:22.670 --> 00:28:23.809
They were doing it silently.
00:28:23.809 --> 00:28:27.079
The person on the receiving end knew nothing of this.
00:28:27.839 --> 00:28:30.900
And they said they watched the person's mood lift.
00:28:31.502 --> 00:28:32.732
And they just kept repeating it.
00:28:33.163 --> 00:28:33.853
I love you.
00:28:33.883 --> 00:28:34.692
I'm sorry.
00:28:34.782 --> 00:28:35.772
Please forgive me.
00:28:35.952 --> 00:28:36.643
Thank you.
00:28:37.338 --> 00:28:39.169
And by the way, that I'm sorry.
00:28:39.648 --> 00:28:43.519
It can be two different interpretations of that, depending on the situation.
00:28:43.759 --> 00:28:44.868
It can be an apology.
00:28:45.373 --> 00:28:48.673
It can also be I'm sorry, like I'm sorry for your loss.
00:28:49.242 --> 00:28:50.923
I'm sorry this is happening to you.
00:28:51.373 --> 00:28:52.573
So it's that kind of I'm sorry.
00:28:53.353 --> 00:28:58.462
And similarly, please forgive me can sometimes be shifted to, I forgive you.
00:28:58.843 --> 00:28:59.833
Depending on what's going on.
00:29:00.449 --> 00:29:02.556
So there's a little flexibility there.
00:29:02.615 --> 00:29:04.536
But it is incredibly powerful.
00:29:04.566 --> 00:29:06.855
And you may enjoy playing with it.
00:29:07.915 --> 00:29:12.848
Some of the things I took away that are more personal and go to my growth.
00:29:13.423 --> 00:29:16.343
And this is stuff I've been working on, so it's progress forward.
00:29:16.373 --> 00:29:24.093
But I've come away with an even greater awareness of, and connection to, synchronicity and intuitive hits.
00:29:24.893 --> 00:29:34.625
I was raised in a family that revered logic and rejected things like intuition and gut feelings, and those pesky emotions and all of that.
00:29:34.655 --> 00:29:35.586
It was all about logic.
00:29:36.203 --> 00:29:42.431
And while that gave me a great skillset around problem solving and developing strategies.
00:29:42.820 --> 00:29:44.621
That alone is not enough.
00:29:45.134 --> 00:29:52.070
A singular focus or a devotion to logic is not the way to break through to possibility at all.
00:29:52.654 --> 00:29:54.845
That is a way to stay safe and familiar.
00:29:55.265 --> 00:30:01.575
And so one of my ongoing goals is to be more and more open to intuition.
00:30:01.964 --> 00:30:07.285
And to synchronicities that happen that I can then find the gold in those.
00:30:07.775 --> 00:30:09.244
And listen to the intuition.
00:30:09.244 --> 00:30:10.865
So that's a big takeaway for me.
00:30:11.194 --> 00:30:20.338
And I have already, even in the few days I've been back, had some really wonderful experiences of some really interesting synchronicities.
00:30:21.009 --> 00:30:27.112
The other thing that I took away that I really liked was the universe is always saying, yes.
00:30:27.961 --> 00:30:30.971
So we want to be sure that we're giving it the right cues.
00:30:32.142 --> 00:30:39.710
And I've had several instances in the last few days where it appeared that the universe was handing me something that was not good at all.
00:30:40.088 --> 00:30:43.278
And it turned out that it was exactly what I needed.
00:30:43.989 --> 00:30:46.328
I just had to look at it from a different angle.
00:30:46.664 --> 00:30:55.744
And so there's that piece too, of being willing to look at what occurs and see, is there a lesson here for me?
00:30:56.285 --> 00:31:00.964
Is there something here I should look at that I'm not seeing up to this point?
00:31:01.474 --> 00:31:02.674
Or that I'm not aware of.
00:31:03.095 --> 00:31:06.224
And in both of these two instances that happened one after another.
00:31:06.644 --> 00:31:07.934
It's simple day-to-day stuff.
00:31:07.934 --> 00:31:11.085
This is not like super profound spiritual awakening.
00:31:11.085 --> 00:31:20.362
This is like, I opened my credit card statement for my business and there was a very large charge that I did not know why that was there.
00:31:20.811 --> 00:31:24.122
And I reached out to the company that had levied that charge.
00:31:24.515 --> 00:31:31.311
And apparently it was a, subscription that was on auto-renew, which I had authorized.
00:31:31.551 --> 00:31:36.412
But what I hadn't authorized was for them to triple the cost without telling me.
00:31:37.182 --> 00:31:41.592
So I had a very unsatisfying customer service interaction.
00:31:42.011 --> 00:31:44.501
Uh, customer disservice interaction.
00:31:45.019 --> 00:31:47.298
In which they very carefully listened to all my stuffs.
00:31:47.328 --> 00:31:50.929
Kept me on their chat thing for 45 minutes.
00:31:51.348 --> 00:31:53.358
And in the end said, I'm sorry, we can't help you.
00:31:54.020 --> 00:31:57.141
I had an appointment I needed to be at, so I just closed the chat and left.
00:31:57.681 --> 00:31:58.971
And I was all irritated about it.
00:31:59.375 --> 00:32:01.744
And then I thought about it a little more and I thought, you know what?
00:32:02.258 --> 00:32:03.788
Am I actually using that anymore?
00:32:04.250 --> 00:32:05.211
Do I even need that?
00:32:05.734 --> 00:32:06.694
I thought I needed it.
00:32:07.161 --> 00:32:09.365
But actually I've moved beyond that.
00:32:09.484 --> 00:32:10.384
I used to need it.
00:32:10.384 --> 00:32:11.525
I don't need it anymore.
00:32:12.065 --> 00:32:13.055
I have a new answer.
00:32:13.115 --> 00:32:14.404
I'm going to cancel it.
00:32:14.964 --> 00:32:16.255
I don't need them to change it.
00:32:16.285 --> 00:32:18.535
I need them to just cancel it and give me my money back.
00:32:18.924 --> 00:32:21.355
Because I've moved beyond it.
00:32:21.414 --> 00:32:24.397
And I hadn't really taken the time to see that.
00:32:24.488 --> 00:32:29.107
And so here was initially the universe, hands me, this thing like grrr, this is terrible.
00:32:29.317 --> 00:32:30.278
And I'm like, wait a second.
00:32:30.770 --> 00:32:31.641
That was a gift.
00:32:32.270 --> 00:32:35.181
Because I would've just kept giving him the, you know, the less amount of money.
00:32:35.570 --> 00:32:39.530
Without even thinking about, just leave it on auto renew till, I don't know, until forever.
00:32:39.861 --> 00:32:41.151
And I was like, oh, Hey, wait.
00:32:41.721 --> 00:32:44.755
This was the jolt I needed to pay attention.
00:32:45.461 --> 00:32:46.361
And that was a gift.
00:32:47.008 --> 00:32:48.654
So, ya just never know.
00:32:49.167 --> 00:32:53.667
So those are some of the techniques for internal growth that I'm working on right now.
00:32:54.028 --> 00:32:57.298
And that I'm finding super valuable as a place to focus.
00:32:57.807 --> 00:33:03.778
I hope there's at least one thing I've shared that has been helpful to you or given you a new way of looking at things.
00:33:04.448 --> 00:33:05.407
Thanks for listening.
00:33:05.587 --> 00:33:09.855
And I'll see you in the next episode right here on the Nonprofit Power Podcast.
